Tuesday, January 29, 2013

CHANCES ARE


As far as I remember, it was Christmas Day of 2000, I was in 2nd year high school, when THE GUY first asked if he can court me.
And because I am the “great suplada” ever towards boys, I said NO!..:)

And the friendship we had, has gone and WALLS between us was build.

I didn’t talk to him.I made “no pansin” him.As in DEADMA!...

I focused on my studies. No communication between us.

And on my fourth year college, I had a boyfriend. A COMPLICATED relationship, I must say.

Those were my sweet and bitter moments of being in love.

Before Christmas break of 2007, I was in my 5th year of college, I decided to stop the COMPLICATED relationship with the “boyfriend” because the situation really hurts me so bad.

And on the Christmas season of 2007, THE GUY texted me (don’t know how he had my number), asking how I’m doing and so on.
And because I am in the healing process of my heart, I replied.
Catched up with what happened for the last 7 years.
And thinking way back then that I can replaced THE BOYFRIEND with THE GUY in my heart, I went with THE GUY to the Church on New Year’s Eve.
We talked, he gave me chocolates. I enjoyed the time we were together, but SPECIAL FEELINGS didn’t grow.

Before classes resume on 2008, I told THE GUY that I can’t really teach my heart to love him the way he loved me. I said sorry and it ended there.

In school, THE BOYFRIEND and I got back to each other but after graduation, the relationship also graduated. IT ENDS. My world shattered. I am lost.
Luckily, a conversation with a friend brought me to reality.
I prepared and reviewed for the board exam and I passed. And then I worked.

On 2008, THE GUY and my high school friend, a close friend actually, were together.
On year 2011, even though they’re still together, THE GUY texted me that I’m the one who he really loves.
To avoid conflicts and confrontations, I don’t response on his text. And their relationship went on and off. 2012, they broke up.

On Christmas day of 2012, THE GUY texted me again. And realizing that he’d been keeping that FEELINGS for almost 12 years, I texted back.
And because this is the time that I want a constant companion, a “bestest” best friend, a confidante, a boyfriend, I entertained his text. And we keep on chatting ‘til now thru text.

And I don’t know if I’ll accept the LOVE he’s offering me. I’m happy when we’re texting.
But I can say that I don’t love him yet. Can my heart learn to love him?

The thing is, to the eyes of people surrounding me, I am an accomplished woman, an achiever.
And THE GUY?..he didn’t have a college diploma, no permanent job.
The PEOPLE expect me to have a partner who is in my LEVEL. Kind’a harsh?

And what about his former girlfriend who is my close friend?
As of this time, I don’t tell her the “courtship” of her ex to me.
But currently, she’s in a relationship now and I can say that they are fine.

So HELP ME LORD. Please Guide my HEART…

Chances Are………………………………….